Bringing the picture to life

30 weeks...I thought you would never get here. Growth measurements were today and Cocoa is progressing nicely. It sure felt like we were in the 20's all spring and summer. I would guess it was because we knew we needed to get out of that time frame to make it to safer land. Now that we are here, let me tell you, it feels wonderful.

Tiffany looks fantastic and I really feel great for her because she is finally able to experience everything to the fullest. Our thoughtful neighbors took her out for a mini-shower this past weekend. It is something I am grateful she finally got to experience. I have always felt terrible that she wasn't ever able to do what she does best, paint the full picture.

Tiffany is fantastic at really seeing a project through. Her unwavering demeanor is one of her finest traits. She is able to ride out storms and sees the big picture behind all of the mess. She is why we are able to navigate through much of life like we do as a couple. She sees something in the cities we consider moving to, the houses we consider buying and the life we plan on living. She is able to tactfully and artistically paint a picture in her mind and has the drive to bring plan to life.

This is why our losses have been so hard for me to handle. It is because I know she sees the nursery and the many other things to plan for in a child's life. She has had to hold those thoughts inside of her over the last 3 years while navigating these bumpy waters. 30 weeks is finally where she can fully begin to construct those plans again. I am so happy for her and I am confident she is going to be the mother I always knew she would be. It's been a long journey and she deserves every last minute of the happiness that we are about to experience.

In a great place

28 weeks! It sure feels like we have been in the 20's forever but it also feels great to be here. I no longer worry about 'the call' that something bad is coming. I now realize that 28+ weeks can have many challenges if there is an early birth but our percentages for having a happy, healthy child is increasing daily.

Tiff is really handling this very well. She still has stubborn moments where she won't pick up the phone if something different is happening but overall her demeanor and spirits are wonderful. We (I) are simply more prone to have anxiety if there is something happening such as pressure on her back or strong contractions but overall her symptoms are ordinary occurrences in pregnancy for most that we are simply feeling our way though with a heightened sense of anxiety versus a traditional pregnancy.

Weeks like this are bittersweet for me, to say the least. I was in San Fran early in the week and now find myself in beautiful Jackson Hole, WY. I'll be here with work through Saturday but I can honestly say it just doesn't feel right not to have Tiffany here with me to experience it all. I really feel terrible calling her and talking about everything but I just can't contain my excitement for the area. She is my confident and best friend so I want so badly for her to feel my excitement. I went on a beautiful 4 mile trail run tonight and I'm pretty sure I heard a Bull Moose proclaiming his dominance of the area. I ran by pulled carriages that were deep in the national park on an excursion and they were playing music by a campfire. Dinner was marvelous as I had a game dish that you simply can't find in many other places. The town is inspiring and the area is humbling.

Not being her with me is one more sacrifice that Tiffany had made in our journey that I feel eternally grateful for. She would love this place as much or more than I and I really don't know how I am able to repay her for all of the sacrifices she has made over the last three years to get us to this point. My job has been easy. Her job has been nothing short of heroic.

I've never been so happy to see summer coming to an end

You can almost feel the change in the air. The bikes are not flying around the neighborhood as often, the humidity is slowly easing, and the binders and note pads are now on full display at retail. Summer is slowing and in our house, that means good things. Nearing 27 weeks and the changes outside are being felt fully inside. Carpet, furniture, and new paint are coming to the house in the next several weeks as we have transitioned from maybe to buckle up, here we go.

Tiff is in that funny stage...one that we have not seen before. Picking up that paper off the floor has become an awkward balancing act. Her regular shirts now ride up in a very cute way on her belly and most importantly she is feeling great. I'm doing everything can do to make this a smooth ride here on out.

I've been ready for this mentally for some time but wasn't sure we'd ever get here. Honestly, I was resigned to the fact that we'd forever be 'that couple who couldn't have kids'. As if that is some strange disease. I was ready to face that music and had prepared myself for that next step in our lives. But with the great care from our doctor and his team, this dream is about to come reality. I am so proud of Tiffany for her determination. She has fought through so much to get here and I was simply a bystander on much of the ride. She's been determined and has earned every second of the happiness we are about to be blessed with.