What's your love language?

The part in which I thrive the most in with this pregnancy is being needed and productive. I find contentment in the opportunity to go above and beyond for Tiffany and I do my best to make this process as bearable as possible. It's difficult for me to not share the burden of back pain, digestion problems, or ever changing pants sizes. Just like in our miscarriages, I am left wishing I could do more. Simple late night trips to the grocery store or picking up the kitchen helps me feel like I am actually nurturing in some minor way.

We had joined our friends Nikki and AJ for lunch several years back and they talked about reading a book call "The Five Languages of Love". I remember them speaking of one another's key to feeling loved and how they knew how to best meet the other's needs. We were both very compelled and bought the book for ourselves. I highly recommend it!

In essence, you have a 'love tank' that needs to be filled. It can be through Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch. Each a little more complex than what you may imagine. Physical Touch for example isn't what you may initially think. Not gettin' your grove on, rather it may just be placing your hand on their knee when they drive or simply holding their hand at the park. He speaks to each language in great detail and gives you words of wisdom on how to best deliver on your partner’s need.

It's harder than you think to identify your partner’s language but once you start reading each section, it will come to you. Tiffany’s is Quality Time. The best thing I can do is stop what I am doing, offer her a walk around the block or simply sit down on the back porch and just talk. If I give her 1o minutes, I have a happy wife. Let me tell you, it has helped in many ways, particularly when she is in a funk. Knowing when to fill that love tank has helped us grow as a couple more than I would have imagined.
Personally, I am Words of Affirmation to circle back to my original thought. I feel whole as a partner when I can feel needed. In so many ways, pregnancy is one huge tank filler for me. So much to do, so little time but throughout I feel loved and needed in my simple acts.

Knowing your partners language is nice to help keep things moving on a daily basis but has been undeniably bonding in the difficult times. The only down side is that she now knows that she can ask me to poop scoop the back yard knowing in some weird way, that poop shovel makes me feel loved.