What can I say, someone struck a nerve this weekend...

After a miscarriage, you can prepare for many things that will come your way like the inevitable call from a close friend or relative saying they are pregnant. They often say they didn’t know how to tell you as if you would be bitter over their great news. Truthfully, I know Tiff and I have always had nothing but joy and happiness for those around us. How can you not? Everyone’s lives will not stop just because you feel like yours has been placed on pause. You simply feel regretful that others are not able to fully enjoy their news with you as they feel some form of remorse.

Things you aren't prepared for are the questions like, “Do you have kids”. Seems innocent enough but how do you answer that to a co-worker? What about when it gets worse and they have no social barometer…“No kids? Why?” So even after more prodding, sometimes you have to just make people feel bad just so you stop that shrinking feeling inside by really telling them why you don’t have kids at that very moment.

The worst for me is, “Oh…you don’t have kids? Let me tell you, you just don’t understand…your life is SO going to change when you do…your marriage is really going to change.” You know what? Take a hike, pal. The one thing I know Eli and Webber brought to our lives is renewed strength and unity. The losses we have endured have done nothing but strengthen our resolve and solidify the love we have for each other.

This will most certainly sound pretentious but what I want to say to some is, “Just because you have a marginal marriage, at best, before the birth of your child, the newborn only accentuated your weaknesses as a couple.” We have been through it all so I don’t need your ivory tower assessment to tell me how things will change. I get that the dinner dates will become fewer, the sleep will become more infrequent and alone time will become a foreign word, but there is one thing I am confident of…my admiration and devotion to Tiffany will remain steadfast and unwavering no matter what life throws at me.